It has been so long since I have even logged in here, much less done any update, so I figured it was time.
It’s been one year since my health scare last Christmas, and in the interim months, I have taken a step back to reassess a lot of things and think though what I have learned. I have learned that life is not guaranteed. We hear this often, in cards, movies, memes, little signs people hang up in their homes, but we don’t often take the time to really think about what that means to each of us. Life is fragile, it can be taken from us in a blink, and we should never take it for granted. I feel so blessed that 4-hours from calling me home, God changed His mind and let me stay. As amazing as I know Heaven will be, I do not feel like I am ready to go yet. I have family to be on this earth to love, grandchildren to watch grow up, an amazing husband who takes such good care of everyone he loves, and a life that I truly do enjoy living. I look out my window every morning to gorgeous landscape, I breathe in the fresh mountain air, and hear the quiet of the forest all around me. Everywhere I go, everything I do, each moment that I am on this planet is a moment to experience joy, and appreciate the blessings that I have been given.
Last year, Christmas wasn’t all that enjoyable. Hospital stays are never fun, and I wouldn’t be able to honestly say that they are festive. At least I had the distraction of trying to stay alive. Hubby could just sit there and watch what was happening all around me, keeping watch over me through both day and night. He went to the store to pick up a few things to try to make it feel more like Christmas to me, but I didn’t have the option to do the same for him. We are trying to make up for it this year, but I admit, until we hit the one year mark, I have been a bit on t he nervous side, and I know he feels the same.
We have gone to two local Christmas light parades, done all of our shopping, I’ve been baking, and he’s been helping me sample. We have the snow on the ground and we’ve watched a few Christmas movies, but things just do not feel quite festive – it’s like we are waiting for something to happen. It doesn’t help that we do not have a pending visit from children or grandchildren to look forward this year. And we understand, the kids and their families have their own lives to live, but it still feels like something important is missing. In spite of this, I look around, see the decorations and lights and get lost gazing at the sparkle of the ornaments, so many of them holding a special memory. I am so grateful to be here celebrating with Hubby and our parents. The end of this year is bittersweet for many reasons, but I am hoping that it’s the end of a year of challenges and that the New Year will be one filled with new experiences, health and happiness.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to any readers who I have left. I hope to be with you more often and Hubby and I embark on some new adventures and fun activities! God bless you and I’ll see you soon!